Author: Claude Knight

 

As a mother, we have this sense of idea that no matter what we do, it’s just not enough. We won’t be able to handle everything although we’re confident we could. The list of household chores, the jobs we need to finish, and the obligations we have to do for ourselves can get jeopardized. All of these are only because our toddler needs all the attention they can get from us. But are we allowed to complain about it? Do we think it’s their fault that we can’t seem to juggle things?

Time Management

There is a boundary when it comes to handling children. Every approach differs in age, gender, interest, social status, and so on. We, as mothers, should know that time management is our best option. Though there are still things we won’t accomplish even if we try so hard, that’s fine. As long as we take time to prioritize the things we need to do, we might be able to multi-task for the sake of the needs of our children. That’s significantly reassuring compared to doing nothing at all.

Psychologist Carl Pickhardt, PhD, said that it’s a common mistake for parents to sacrifice all their time and energy when they become parents. However, he said, “To sacrifice self-care and marriage for the sake of the child makes everybody unhappy sooner or later.”

Laura Markham, PhD, suggests practicing what she called radical self-care. “Treat yourself as you would your child — do you need a snack or a break right now, so you don’t have a meltdown? Find a way to help yourself feel better. Maybe that means finding a way for your child to occupy himself, or maybe it means giving him a snack, too.”

Kids Are Not Listening

It is frustrating when we think that our kids are not listening. But the truth is, they are. They don’t respond to the things we tell them. That’s why we need to be clear that our children may unintentionally hurt us with their actions and that needs to slip away. It’s not going to be a matter of not listening but instead focuses more on the kids’ eagerness to follow and obey what we ask them to do.

Communication Is Important

“The best type of parenting is fair, flexible, respectful, and has learning—rather than submission—as its goal. Hearing and respecting feelings, allowing choice, yet setting fair and clear limits on unacceptable behavior is the healthy balance that we should all strive for,” wrote Melanie Greenberg, PhD.

Direct communication and physical interaction are the best way to make our kids understand how we feel. We need to start engaging in a conversation where our kids and us can exchange thoughts and ideas. This way, we won’t have to think about things unrelated to what we’re supposed to be doing. As responsible parents, we have to let our children understand the importance of expressing themselves. It will be a great way to help them achieve excellence in all areas of their development.

Stress Affects Everything

Being a parent is not a joke, and it requires a lot of hardships and patience. If we let stress control things, we won’t be able to identify our capabilities in handling pressure. Along with our daily task and mommy duties, everything can all get mixed up. There’s no space for us to complain about the things we can’t do significantly. We only have to concentrate on things that require attention.

Our Kids Matter

Handling our toddlers can be exhausting and fulfilling at the same time. As a mom, we know that perfection is always our goal for them. But it’s okay to have some mishaps sometimes. It’s part of parenthood to fail and get stressed out with a lot of things. However, our priorities must not change. We need to stay focus on giving our children the best that we could.

Motherhood is not easy, but when we think about it, it’s a responsibility that gives significance to our existence. Though we may complain sometimes, it won’t change the fact that our babies are the ones who can improve our wellbeing. Nevertheless, BetterHelp will always be available if you need mental help ASAP.

 

 

 

“Visible wounds are relatively easy to recognize.” wrote Susan Newman, PhD. “It’s different when a child begins having problems at school or with friends, or if he or she becomes uncooperative and has inexplicable outbursts. Such occurrences often leave parents feeling confused and unsure about what to do.”

 

Currently, there are around 14 million children in America who are struggling with a mental disorder; however, not all insurance plans sufficiently cover psychological health. “There is a more universal recognition that we face an epidemic of children’s mental health problems in this country,” said pediatric mental health expert Barry Anton, PhD.

 

For parents who have children with mental disabilities, it is essential to be aware of the different types of scenarios and dilemmas when it comes to pediatric mental health. For this reason, pediatric psychiatrists are determined in helping parents and children who are going through a rough time.

 

Here are a couple of facts about pediatric mental health that parents must know according to psychiatry.

 

 

1. Pediatric Mental Health Is Growing And Requires Adequate Attention

 

Improving America’s pediatric mental health condition must be one of the parents’ main goals, especially those who have special needs or mentally challenged children. By recognizing that mental health is as vital as overall physical health, parents can adequately address their children’s condition.

 

Unfortunately, a lot of parents have this notion that psychiatrists or therapists are exaggerating the analysis, psychology, and medication of their kids. And the result is, the majority of kids in this country who are suffering from mental illnesses aren’t getting enough psychiatric help resulting in an untreated condition that can only get worse.

 

2. Insurance Coverage Parity For Mental Health Is A Necessity

 

If there’s one thing that policymakers must do is to create a consistent correspondence on devoting their concerns to not just pediatric mental health but for mental health in general; this only means that every insurer in the country is required to ensure psychological health services the same way they provide physical illnesses. Though there are people in Congress who are pushing for this to happen, there’s still a lot of work to be done.

 

 

3. Mental Health Coverage Is Cost-effective

 

Learning and psychiatric disorders are severely costing the country billions of dollars due to Medicaid, taxes, disability, and lost workdays. As of this moment, according to psychiatric studies, the majority of mental disorders that evolved in adulthood were latent during adolescence and childhood. Focusing on these common mental disorders at the very beginning, even before it progresses, is said to be treatable and cheaper.

 

What are these common pediatric mental disorders?

 

 

1. Anxiety Disorders

 

Considered as the most prevalent type of mental illness, anxiety disorders affect 13% of children within the 9 to 17-year-old bracket. While every child experiences anxiety at some point, there are those who suffer from severe anxiety which is due to fear of parental separation, society, and school.

 

“When children are chronically anxious, even the most well-meaning parents can fall into a negative cycle and, not wanting a child to suffer, actually exacerbate the youngster’s anxiety. It happens when parents, anticipating a child’s fears, try to protect her from them,” wrote Clark Goldstein, PhD. Severe anxiety during childhood requires medical therapy.

 

2. Depression

 

Another common form of mental disorder, clinical depression affects one in 33 kids, and as for adolescents, it’s one in eight. Depression may make children feel hopeless, helpless, and worthless. Aside from those bottled-up emotions, kids are also lethargic, socially withdrawn, moody, and irritable. Depression with troubled teens that have poor support system can lead to suicide ideations.

 

3. Learning Disabilities

 

Some of the most common learning disabilities in children are auditory processing disorder (APD), dyscalculia, dysgraphia, dyslexia, and visual-motor or perceptual deficit. These learning disabilities are not easily overcome without the help of trained therapists. If not treated, impairments will disrupt healthy living and coping once kids turn to adults.

 

Early identification of pediatric mental illnesses can be possible through proper psychological screening like undergoing vision and hearing tests. With adequate research funding from the government and by allocating resources to train and hire child psychiatrists, mental health problems in children can be quickly evaluated and treated so as not to be carried into adulthood.

For other mental health facts, BetterHelp can provide online counseling to parents who need extra support in taking care of their young ones.

 

“Being a mother, I wasn’t expecting it to be like this,” says a new mom of a healthy baby boy from Oregon, Missouri. “It’s difficult and demanding. I love my baby, but since he arrived, it’s like I’m slowly losing parts of myself. I wish I could have, you know, prepared myself more.”

Continue reading “5 Ways To Keep Your Mental Health In Top Shape After Giving Birth According To Psychiatrist”

Do you have kids and are you raising them overly or obsessively? Do you even know how well (or not well) you are raising them?

Did you know that paranoid parenting can also affect your kid’s social development and mental health? As parents, you want the best for your child but as they grow, you need to be less fearful and give them minimal adult supervision. When they become young people, they experience social change and become adaptable to the environment.

Fearful parenting, prevalent in various cultures including the United States, often stems from anxieties about global development and societal challenges. Research methods exploring development parenting trends are crucial for understanding the impact of fearful parenting practices on children’s well-being in an ever-changing global landscape.

So, what is fearful parenting? Have you ever wondered whether you might be engaging with it? Let’s discuss more about this important topic.

As parenthood is concerned, we can know how our fears affect our children in so many ways, and we can know how to handle these issues. let’s take a deeper look into some of the pointers here in this article.

“American childrearing over the last few decades has transformed expected parental anxieties about child safety into paranoia,” wrote Molly S. Castelloe, Ph.D. I discussed how parents act about their kids on my Parenting And Paranoia blog. This isn’t just limited to the feeling that the world is dangerous for kids. Fearing that your children will fail, that they’ll get hurt, and that they’ll make mistakes are part and parcel of it, too. That’s considered paranoia.

Understanding Paranoid Parenting

Overprotective parents are setting their kids up for FAILURE. Why is that?

Instilling fear in them will make them fearful of the world in general.

Frank Furedi, author of Paranoid Parenting: Why Ignoring the Experts May Be Best for Your Child (Chicago Review Press), argued that this form of raising kids has been around for centuries, but has gained new momentum in recent decades due to high-profile campaigns.

His 2007 groundbreaking book claims that Great Britain is now an “intolerant society” where parents are making their judgments about what is best for their children and often ignoring even the experts. Ignoring the experts may lead to a situation where parents are so irrationally anxious about new threats that they hardly allow their children out of the house, as Furedi calls it.

Capable children are like empty sponges to water – they’ll soak up whatever you teach them, whatever they get from you. If you instill fear in them at a young age, they’ll bring that sense of dread with them as they grow up.

Remember that song Because Of You by singer Kelly Clarkson? It may be a lover-related song, but that sums up your kid’s future dilemma when she grows up under overprotective tutelage.

Doing things for them because you’re afraid they’ll fail.

When you think that because your kids can’t seem to do anything right will only give them a sense of entitlement. Let me give you a real scenario. I had a relative with a brood of five, the youngest being the only girl. Growing up, she babied her and treated her like a princess. Her youngest stayed with her mum until she was 40. Eventually, the woman got married to a widowed farmer.

Unfortunately, the marriage didn’t last long. The man returned his wife to her family. It turned out; that he had to do the house chores after spending his day in the field because she wouldn’t do them. He even had to do the cooking. Though leaning on the extreme, the situation is a classic example of entitlement borne from bolstered parents’ confidence, overprotectiveness, and love.

Joel L. Young, MD, explained, “It’s challenging to send your child out into a hostile world, knowing he or she may fail, face ridicule, and struggle. Rest assured, children must struggle to grow and learn. Saving your child from consequences and challenges now only ensures he or she will face more challenges down the road.”

Nowadays, hardly a day passes without news of a new danger or threat to children. The worst childhood influence is the media, whose stories often put children at greater risk than what would be considered normal. Television and newspapers are filled with sensationalist stories about how one parent’s examples of bad decisions led to tragedy.

By overprotecting your kids, you’re hindering the development of their decision-making skills.

Limiting their exposure to “good” brings about a myriad of adverse children’s health and mental consequences. Accordingly, there are two kinds of stress – chronic which comes from constant worrying, abuse, neglect, and so on, and acute, that burst of adrenaline we have in response to something frightening, dangerous, or competitive.

The former is constant while the latter is short-lived. The first one is the kind of stress we should steer clear of; the second one is a regular part of our fight-or-flight response. Acute stress is the “good kind of ”

Experts say that with paranoia, we limit their exposure to acute stress, something they need to develop their decision-making abilities and their risk-taking skills. Furthermore, studies show that acute stress factors in brain-building and the development of social behaviors are related to good parenthood. If you limit your kids’ exposure to it, they’ll most likely grow anti-social and hyper-aggressive.

It is fear revisited. One childcare expert recently warned against such practices, noting that even the much-publicized expert advice can’t protect children from everything in the world. The culture of paranoia has caused an overall increase in parental control over activities such as sleep, friends, and fun. But this may be sacrificing our children’s education in the child-rearing process.

 It opens kids up to bullying.

Bullies are most likely to target kids who are very dependent on their modern parents, as a result of delusion. Their peers see them as misfits and abnormal making them vulnerable targets. This is a children’s safety issue in this modern society that requires adult supervision.

What To Do If You Are Paranoid Parenting

Remember this: being vigilant and alert is different.  Paranoia is fear that’s bigger than the real thing, a warped-up worry. Know your concerns, and moral and cultural attitudes and keep them in perspective. You should also be aware that news portals tend to sensationalize the news and make them appear larger than they seem. It does not often convey only a clear message and sometimes makes this a welcome departure for well-rounded sanity.

Allow your kids a sense of freedom. We have to loosen our reins on our children as they go because, eventually, they’ll leave us to live lives of their own. Don’t prolong the inevitable and avoid becoming overly anxious parents.

Do positive reinforcement in place of scare tactics. We’d word “when you’re lost” instruction this way: “Don’t ever talk to strangers because they’ll snatch you and take you away, and you won’t see Mommy and Daddy ever again.” However, it’s best to use a more positive approach when giving life lessons to our kids. A positive reinforcement sounds like this: “Go to someone who can help you like a security guard, a police officer, or someone who works in the place (like an attendant if it’s a mall).” Let us equip our kids to be smart and street-wise in this world instead of creeping like mice in parental anxiety. Childcare experts suggest allowing only clear messages.

Paranoid parenting has become increasingly common in today’s culture of fear. Parents are taught to see potential threats everywhere, from a visit to the park to their children reading books or watching television. This kind of overprotectiveness can create an environment where children lack basic autonomy and develop a sense of being constantly under surveillance. Moreover, studies conducted at universities have found that children of overprotective parents often struggle with emotional regulation and poorer self-esteem. Ignoring this parental behavior has taught many parents today not to overcontrol their children.

Lastly, If your fears are becoming excessive, talk to someone about it. It could be your church pastor, or you could go to a therapist. If you’re wary of physical counseling, you can seek help online through therapy websites like BetterHelp. Don’t burden your kids with baseless fears that they can bring with them when they grow up. Don’t let your parental paranoia and
delusion affects and hurts your children’s well-being.

Insights And Takeaway

“Being a parent is a balancing act. There is no playbook that can tell us exactly what to do at every step of the journey. We want to avoid doing things for them that they can (or should) do themselves,” reminded Mike Brooks, Ph.D. “While we want to help them succeed, we have to be careful not to live vicariously through them.”

According to new sociological research and theories, in case your paranoia seems to get in the way of such a thing, BetterHelp can be your friend. Visit the company’s social media sites soon.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Is Paranoid Parenting?

What Is An Upbeat Parenting Style?

What Are The 3 Fs Of Positive Parenting?

What Is The Most Strict Style?

What Is The Hardest Age As A Parent?

What Is The Most Difficult Stage Of Being A Parent?

What Is A Neglectful Mother In Paranoid Parenting?

What Is Cold Mother Syndrome?

What Mom Burnout Looks Like?

What Does An Emotionally Absent Mother Look Like?

What Are Toxic Paranoid Parenting Behaviors?

What Are The Signs Of Toxic Parents?

Is My Parent Toxic Or Is It Me?

News of the COVID-19 outbreak is everywhere. You can see many updates from the front page of the newspaper to the neighborhood meetings. With the ongoing stressful battle, perhaps you, as a parent, want to know how you can talk about the disease with your kids in a way that it provides reassurance and does not increase the children’s worry. Good thing there are ways to do that. Here are some pieces of advice on how you can talk to children about the Coronavirus.

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Don’t Be Afraid To Discuss The Negativities Of The Disease

Your kids might probably hear about the virus. Perhaps they already asked you a question of why a lot of people are wearing a mask. That is because kids already know something is up, and they want the details of what is entirely happening. As a parent, you must let them know. Do not be afraid to tell them the negativities of the situation. Yes, it can add worry and fear to their minds. But not talking about it may be worse because the kids might feel left out. Thus, they will worry and become more curious. It can lead to the children not following safety measures too. Therefore, use the opportunity to discuss facts with the children and allow them to internalize the situation. That way, you can avoid kids from getting too emotional and exaggerated.

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Be Developmentally Appropriate In Stressful Situations

As a parent, you have to tell kids the situation of the pandemic. However, you must note not to share too much information all at once as it can become too overwhelming for children. So what you need to do is answer their queries clearly and honestly. Avoid sugar-coating the situation because kids might suffer from an emotional burden once they find out that you are lying to them. But it is also okay if you don’t have answers to all their questions. Just tell them honestly that you don’t know anything about it. To have a meaningful exchange of conversation, you can invite your kids and ask them about the things they have heard from who or whatever sources they have. From there, explain the situation and tell them whether the information they get is accurate or not.

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Take Things Slowly But Surely

Discussing the pandemic situation with kids is not only for them to know what is happening around them. But also, for you to correct whatever false information they currently hang onto. It would be best if you allowed the kids to understand that only facts are acceptable and helpful in terms of dealing with the situation right now. Just remember never to ask them questions that can encourage frightened imagination and fantasies. You need to talk to them and give them information one at a time. Do not overflow the kids with the unnecessary details that might not help in dealing with the situation. Also, be consistent in the way you communicate. Use a soft voice and avoid answering kids’ questions with “maybe.”

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Deal With Your Own Mental And Emotional Issues First

You may feel anxious and stress due to the pandemic’s uncertainties. But what you want to do is make sure that you are calm before discussing the situation with your children. You must avoid having a conversation with the kids when you notice that you are feeling a little distressed and anxious for a particular time. It is essential to deal with your emotional and mental issues first before dealing with your children. That way, they will not feel tense or scared. Provide them a comfortable environment and focus on keeping them safe.

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There are a lot of questions right now that a mom like you particularly has about COVID-19. Perhaps you are also one of those parents who are currently experiencing a different level of stress and anxiety due to the situation’s uncertainties. Understandably, you are worried about your family’s safety, especially your kids. That is because they are the most emotionally, physically, and mentally vulnerable during this pandemic time.

About the news you get from the media, you are aware that most infected individuals of the virus are the elderly. Maybe that puts you in a safe level of anxiety, thinking that children have a low risk of getting the Coronavirus infection. However, it does not entirely secure any kids’ health. That is because you only have a limited amount of data of those infected people. And that data is insufficient since you do not get a first-hand experience of what these virus-positive people are going through.

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For sure, you are even unaware that perhaps some of the people around you already have the virus. However, the data of those children with underlying conditions that are at potential risk of obtaining an infection might cause an alert. Some of these conditions that can put children at significant risk are asthma, lung disease, neurological conditions, and so on. So even if you think that children are out of the bracket of potentially being at risk of the illness, you might want to reconsider your assumptions concerning those who suffer from underlying health situation.

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Keeping Children Safe

All people are aware of the public health message that the government and World Health Organizations is providing. That is the reason why all of us are practicing social distancing, even the kids. However, as a mom, the responsibilities don’t stop after you teach your children the things they have to do during this global health crisis. Yes, you can often remind the kids always to wash their hands frequently, cover their mouths, and physically distance themselves from other people. But unfortunately, that is not enough.

Telling kids what they don’t and have to do during this time is challenging. That is especially if that is something that contradicts their intensely social nature. Children understand the situation, and they know the risk of getting an infection. However, not all of them are capable of following strict guidelines. Not all kids can participate in a stringent line of measures because most of them depend on interaction.

So in case that you put pressure on the children’s way of managing the situation, it becomes a problem. That is because instead of you securing their safety, you become the reason for their emotional and mental instability. Perhaps as a mom, you can say that this particular situation is not providing any benefits for you and to your family in a whole lot of instances. Honestly, everyone can agree to that.

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Takeaway

So far, the one bright spot of this global health crisis is that children do not appear to be severely affected by the Coronavirus infection.  Some of these kids only suffer mild symptoms of the disease due to their young, healthy immune system. But as a mom, you should not let yourself become overly confident about that. The virus is still spreading to other people, and kids’ are not exempted from getting that.

To keep your family and kids safe during this pandemic time, all of you in the house must understand the importance of the necessary habits you should do regularly. Remind yourself always to be safe than sorry.

 

Dealing with anxious toddlers is difficult because toddlers are ten times worse than ordinary babies who have tantrums. They have anxiety issues in potty training, eating, listening, and obeying. Toddlers easily meltdown all the time, and that’s because they are so emotional. They don’t know how to control their feelings.

According to Erin Leyba, LCSW, PhD, “Some kids experience anxiety more than others. About 15-20% of kids are born with a more anxious temperament (the amygdala part of their brains are more reactive to novel stimuli from the start).”

As a parent, you will want to do everything to help your child. However, Clark Goldstein, PhD points out, “When children are chronically anxious, even the most well-meaning parents can fall into a negative cycle and, not wanting a child to suffer, actually exacerbate the youngster’s anxiety. It happens when parents, anticipating a child’s fears, try to protect her from them.”

So how do you parent an anxious toddler? Let’s talk about the tips I’m going to share. Here are some broad strokes that are important for you to remember when it comes to parenting.

Teach Them To Express Their Feelings 

Toddlers can’t express feelings just like that. Even if you think you know your kid, you don’t. Also, although they have a fantastic vocabulary and can directly tell people what’s on their mind, it doesn’t mean they can already figure out their anxious emotions. As a parent, you can teach them how to express their feelings so they won’t get used to melting down.

Encourage Them To Fight Fears

Letting your toddlers handle stressful situations is good. However, it doesn’t mean you have to throw them into things and expect them to do it when you tell them to. That way, instead of helping kids achieve stable mental and emotional states, you’re only adding pressure and stress. Alternatively, let them discover the things that scare them, provided that you’re going to guide them along the way. You have to be there with them and show them how it’s supposed to get done.

“All too often we teach kids to take deep breaths and to get their “minds off their worries” instead of teaching them how to defeat those thoughts,” explained Natasha Daniels, LCSW. “Distraction only go so far. Parents need to get to the root of the worry and pull out that weed.”

Let Them Explore Their Feelings

It’s usual for some parents to become over-accommodating, but it doesn’t help at all. It only enables toddlers’ anxiety throughout their behavioral, emotional, and mental development. When you don’t allow them to experience agitation, anger, and pain, they will have a difficult time differentiating it from other emotions. Don’t stop them from learning just because you are too afraid that they might get hurt. They need to understand that sooner or later, they will eventually experience the challenges in life.

Acknowledge Their Emotions

When you tell toddlers to get up there and stand on their own, you’re not doing the right thing. You might think that it’s helpful in teaching your child independence, but it’s not. It will only make them feel pushed and feel betrayed. In fact, when you ask toddlers the things that scare them, what gets them mad, and what makes them sad, they won’t be able to answer it in detail. They will have problems connecting their experiences with those questions. As a parent, you need to acknowledge their emotions and know their capabilities as well.

With sensitive and anxious toddlers, the emotions are uncontrollable. The sooner they can tell you that they feel scared, sad, and angry, the more significant changes you can figure out what to do. These tips are not exactly mind-blowing, but all of these are important in handling your baby properly. Do not risk your child’s overall health. Show them the importance of getting out from their comfort zone, and be there to assist them with their needs.