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Perhaps all of us can agree that children are cute and sensitive. However, these little rascals will never stay that way. A lot of them can become a tremendous pain in the ass. Most of the times, they will cause even more trouble compared to none. They can make someone angry because they are annoying, and sometimes they are out of boundary. But regardless of that, we know that kids will always be kids. They can shrug things off and become okay again in no time. That is their unique quality. So as parents, what are the possible things we can do to keep our children in a behave manner? How can we make the children listen to us? Fortunately, there are better ways we can count on.
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The Talk
As parents, we have great talents in finding the things we wished our kids could stop doing. No, it is not bad parenting because we know what exactly is appropriate and not applicable in our house. We have to control the bad behavior of our children. That is before they can even create a connection to the outside world and become a menace. With that, we talk them out of their mistakes. Since we want them to understand that there are things that are not allowed to do, we must be specific in explaining everything clearly. As parents, we have to take away all the confusions that the kids might have. “It’s important to let her know that you empathize with how she’s feeling.” says Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., “Your child actually needs you the most when she’s at her worst.”
The Punishment
Sometimes kids can be very stubborn that a pleasant conversation is never a solution to their misbehaving attitude. There are instances that even if we already tried so hard to explain to them what should and shouldn’t have to happen, they will continue to annoy us anyways. With that, we have to end up punishing them. No, it is not the kind of punishment where there is too much harassment in the process. “Physical punishment elicits precisely the negative affects one does not want in parent-child relationships and in socializing children: distress, anger, fear, shame, and disgust.” Paul C Holinger M.D. explains. Instead, it will focus more on minor stuff that will allow the kids to suffer under inevitable consequences of their actions. Of course, that only goes to depend on the bearable emotional and mental strength of the children. Remember, it should get considered as a punishment, but not as abuse.
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The Role Model
Children are the best imitators. Sometimes they act on things based on how they see it. With that, we have to be careful in showing them everything. “Values don’t come from a textbook or from discussions about abstract concepts.” says Elizabeth Berger, M.D., a child and adolescent psychiatrist and author of Raising Children With Character (Jason Aronson Inc., 1999). She adds, “Rather, values are taught during the ordinary interactions of everyday life. If a child likes and respects you and your values, he will want to embrace them and make them his own.”
As you can see, some kids work in silence, and there are who do stuff regardless of the consequences. As parents, we have to make sure that the children are getting the right amount of learning from good behavioral examples. We must not allow them to question the existence of our bad behavior when we want them to do well on theirs.
Parenting is difficult; that’s why we always have to remember a thing. One parenting method does not guarantee to work with the other. That is because children have different attitudes and behavior.