Kids are not all sweet and charming. We can all agree to that. There are times that they can be so mean, irrational, and very annoying. But what is making the most fuss in parenting is these little ones’ stubbornness. It is as if these kids have control of the world. They do not follow the rules, they ignore consequences, and they don’t listen. But do not worry. There are ways to help moms with dealing with these rascals.
Positive Parenting Tips
Learn To Stay Calm – Yes, one of the best things that moms can do is to stay calm. Since kids’ are not good at regulating their emotions, mothers should not allow their kids’ mood to control theirs. Parents should always have to be in charge of everything. That is especially when it comes to disciplining kids and administering rules. “A calm body is a calm mind. Not the other way around, as most people believe.” says Gayatri Devi, MD. Parents must understand that the quickest way to make stubborn children to listen is to give out a calm response. Taking a deep breath would be okay.
Remember What To Control – Parents, though they are in an authoritative position, cannot always control things. That is the reason why they sometimes feel upset if they cannot control the little kids. With that, parents must learn to identify the things they can control so that they do not have to put too much power struggle. Remember that moms do not have to argue or convince them to follow specific rules. Mothers have to impose the rules, and that is it.
Try To Empower What Kids Control – Children are in charge of their choices. “Treat kids as the expert in their lives,” Phyllis Fagell, LCPC says But it does not mean parents have to give in to them. They still have the last words as parents and control permission. Empowering what kids control means parents should acknowledge their kids’ authority. They have to make sure that regardless of the children’s desire, the little ones are still aware of the consequences of their actions. Therefore, when something is against the rules, these kids must widely accept punishment. The whole idea is about letting the kids understand their responsibilities too.
Consider Listening – Yes, instead of moms arguing with their kids, they must first try to listen. Stubborn kids get more engagement when there is an argument because it gives them a false sense of entitlement and power. With that, moms should not get drawn into it. Parents should not allow the little ones to control the adults. Because if they do, these stubborn children will have the confidence in doing things they want without considering anything. Not even rules, punishments, and as well as other people’s feelings will have a value to these kids.
“The most important way to talk so your child will listen is to listen to your child,” says New York City psychoanalyst Gail Saltz, MD, author of several books, including Getting Smart About Your Private Parts. “If they feel listened too, they are more likely to be able to listen and will feel more understood, have more trust, and be more interested in what you have to say.”
When children are in a bad mood, it becomes normal for moms to become angry too. But that should not suppose to happen. Instead, they must focus on empathy. It is by understanding the kids’ feelings. Dealing with stubborn children requires a different parenting dynamic. So instead of trying to build control over the kids, why not use themselves as a model for learning?