Pacifiers, Pumps, and the World – The Journey and the Craziness of Being A Mom

Solution Focused Therapy In Schools

The school is a child’s second home where he must feel safe and secured, apart from learning new things. It is a social establishment open for kids, teens, and adults alike coming from various socio-economic status and cultural backgrounds for education. One of the many functions of a school is to develop and assist their students in improving their behavior according to their unique personalities and social environment.

Here is where a school counselor can help since his job is to provide psychological counseling in a fast-paced setting and a short-term approach. Why? The very reason as to why solution-focused therapy may work in schools is because the program is geared toward finding a solution with the tools you have by eyeing the goal. In this way, the issue is solved by using a person’s skills without wasting time as to who is the culprit, why the scenario happened, and who’s to blame.

What Is Solution Focused Therapy?

Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) is a therapy program that focuses on the now and the tomorrow. The experiences of yesterday, which brought about the problem, has no place in this type of treatment. A counselor or a social worker specializing in the practice of SFT will focus on the present and the future. He will assist the person to a resolution on the issue, instead of finding what was wrong in the past and discussing it during therapy. “Solution-Focused Brief Therapy is an effective treatment approach for youth managing anxiety.” says Anne Bodmer Lutz, B.S.N., M.D.

With this, through the cooperation of the person in treatment, the counselor can bring out ways to resolve a concern while looking out for the future and leaving the past behind. The person himself will have to submit to change and find a solution to his problem. He will have to work on it since it is a short-term goal. Why short-term? The focus is on the goal, and there is no room to recollect the negativity of the past.

(Read this article for a more in-depth idea about solution-focused therapy.)

Why Solution Focused Therapy Will Work In Schools

In schools, solution-focused therapy will work because a counselor will have to deal with hundreds of students and he cannot talk to all of them about their past problems. He can only work a program that addresses a concern head-on with a quick and effective solution. The counselor must meet with a student in at most five sessions, and by then, the goal must be attained if the student will take the treatment seriously. “Solution-focused therapy can be beneficial in helping students reduce the intensity of their negative
feelings, manage their conduct problems, improve academic outcomes like credits earned, and positively impact externalizing behavioral problems and substance use.” Johnny S. Kim and co-author, wrote.

Techniques Used By Counselors In Solution Focused Therapy

For example, there is a bullying incident. Of course, the bullied student and the bullying one will have to face the school counselor. They may be subjected to solution-focused therapy to stop the bully from behaving as such in the future. It is also to empower the bullied so that he can learn not to be a victim of such circumstance again afterward.

The counselor will then inject his SFT techniques by asking questions:

Are you someone who can solve a problem on his own? Have you tried that before and are you willing to do it again?

How do you want this situation to become at this point?

How did this happen?

How will you achieve that?

Ponder on your situation right now. How can you make it better?

If you are frustrated, it’s okay. Being frustrated is normal. Are you feeling okay with that?

What little things can you mention that may help you change or overcome this issue?

There are many more questions that an SFT counselor may ask to facilitate the sessions and those are some examples. If you notice, there is no asking in detail as to what happened in the past. The focus is on how it will be resolved positively and immediately. For kids in school, it is a useful therapy tool. “SFC [Solution Focused Counseling] uses signature questions to help focus on how clients can change.These questions are designed to allow counselors to listen to the clients’words and absorb the meanings, then formulate the next question by connecting the clients’ key words and phrases.” Elsa Soto Leggett, Ph.D., explained.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Family Therapy, Anger Management, And Parent Counseling Needed

Oppositional Defiant Disorder, commonly shortened to ODD, is a condition characterized by defiant and hostile behavior that is classed as non-developmental which means that kids do not typically display the said level of defiance. It generally appears in childhood, and if not taken care of, the disorder may result in numerous mental health issues as the child grows up.

Understanding ODD

Rebellion is a natural phase of children as they develop. In fact, this particular level of defiance characterizes adolescence. Furthermore, during the toddler stages of children, they go through a similar state of resistance also as they learn to explore their individuality and exert their own rules. Although these specific states are defined as defiance, they are both parts of growing up and nothing a good parenting style will solve.

However, if things get out of hand and the children start to define more as a discipline is imposed, ODD may be in the picture. To be more specific, ODD is the defiance of children triggered by insignificant events or even nothing at all. Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, explained, “[K]ids with ODD have oppositional attitudes and behaviors that are more of a pattern than an exception to the rule.”

According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM), ODD is diagnosed when defiant behavior persists for a majority of the days in 6 months for children under the age of 5. For children older than 5, defiance must happen at least once a week in the six-month span.

Symptoms Of ODD

To meet the criteria of ODD, the defiant behavior must be classified as to be not typical for the child’s current age and corresponding developmental stage. For example, a 2-year old’s frequent tantrum may not be of much concern, but an 8-year old with the same behavior is.

More specific symptoms are:

Anger, hostility, and an irritable mood
Refusal to listen to authoritative figures
Purposeful attempts to irritate others
Vindictive and spiteful behavior

Children with ODD often do not have any regard for the consequences of their defiant behavior. In some cases of ODD, however, children may ask for forgiveness but still revert to the old defiant behavior.

Causes Of ODD

ODD is believed as a result of a chaotic environment; thus no single factor is considered the leading cause of the disorder. However, it must be noted that finding the cause of the ODD may not be possible in some situations.

A chaotic environment is classified as a collection of specific scenarios which then leads to the development of ODD. Ugo Uche, LPC, wrote, “[I]n the absence of other clinical issues, a diagnosis of ODD is really a defense mechanism and coping strategy used by children and teens who have experienced a history of being betrayed by adults in their lives to varying degrees.” Children with a history of abuse, neglect, or trauma are some of the things that may instill a negative response to the children thus producing ODD. Apart from that, harsh forms of disciplines may also be taken differently by children causing them to resent authorities.

Other reasons involve the parents of the child with the disorder. For example, according to studies, children of drug addicts or incarcerated parents are more likely to develop the disorder, and the same goes for children of mothers who use drugs or alcohol during pregnancy.

ODD as a symptom is also being explored today with the disorder being linked to underlying mental health issues such as ADHD, anxiety, and depression.

Therapy For ODD

“The good news is that the vast majority of kids with disruptive behavior disorders have disordered reactive aggression. They misinterpret environmental cues and react inappropriately. Psychiatry can help those kids,” said Daniel F. Connor, MD. Treating ODD is very important for the child’s future development. It is a known fact that ODD may result in various consequences in the future and to address it in its early stages is critical.

The first step of treating the ODD through therapy is to find the possible triggers and multiple causes of the disorder. After then, the treatment can now be developed with a mix of behavioral techniques such as anger management methods for individual therapy. More specific techniques are goal setting, relaxation therapy, trigger identification, and more.

Family therapy can also be employed to create a more suitable environment for the treatment of the child’s ODD. Furthermore, subjecting the family to treatment can also give them better control of the situation.

Parent counseling is also a great help for parents. The sessions will teach parents how to cope and manage ODD children. BetterHelp may be able to assist on that matter.

Finally, medications ranging from antidepressants to stimulants can also be prescribed to address the symptoms only as no single pill will cure the disorder.

Therapist Reveals Signs Of Maturity That Parents Want To See In Kids

When I was in post-grad school, I decided to focus on marriage and family therapy due to a personal reason.

You see, I have a younger sister who had always been the source of headaches for the family. The typical kids who would do what she had done were from a broken family or experienced childhood trauma. However, mom and dad were very much in love, and we never had money issues because they were both hard-working.

If we talked about neglect, that issue would not apply to my sister. My mother would never agree with me on this, but my parents favored her more than anyone in the family. Because of that, it had always boggled our minds as we kept on thinking, “Where did we go wrong?”

Stories From The Past

Mom and dad had a policy that we could get anything we wanted, but we could not have boyfriends until college. It was super simple – super understandable. Unfortunately, I heard dad’s voice roaring upstairs one day because she had my sister’s phone and saw that she was exchanging “I love you’s” with a boy from school. She was only 13 years old at the time.

Then, when my sister turned 16, our parents allowed her to get a part-time job. “Still,” they reminded her, “You should help out here at home and carry on your chores.” She managed to find a job, but her chores would remain undone until mom or dad would make a stance and not let her leave until everything’s done.

By the time I entered post-grad school, my younger sister was a college freshman. She was already 18 years old; I thought she would be wiser and more adult-like than ever. However, one of her instructors happened to be my sorority friend, and she asked me what’s going on at home because my sister hardly went to her classes.

That was like the tipping point for my parents. They gave my little sister a chance to explain herself, but she came up with alibis that were – for lack of a better word – dumb. She reasoned that her part-time job coincided with the class schedule, her alarm clock did not work, and her teacher did not let anyone in if they were at least a minute late.

In my dad’s anger, she made my sister stop for the rest of the semester. She argued that it would be a waste of money, but dad said, “You already wasted my money by skipping classes. God only knows what other subjects you did not go to, so you will come home and think about your actions.”

Signs of Maturity

My sister obviously hurt, asked why our parents made such a harsh decision. She felt like she was already an adult and could do whatever she wanted. However, I had to teach her about the signs of maturity that most parents need to see in their kids to consider them adults.

Accountability

The primary thing that moms and dads are looking for is accountability. It merely implies that you should be able to own up to your actions. Whether it fails or succeeds, no one else should take the blame for it but you.

In my sister’s case, she blamed everything but herself when our parents learned she had not been going to class. It showed how irresponsible she was, which made our folks more upset than ever.

Honesty

Mature individuals are not shy of revealing the truth, no matter how awful it may be. It’s still related to accountability, given that you can never be honest if you refuse to accept that you are responsible for something.

If we go back to the accounts above, you’d realize that my sister made various excuses during the confrontation. All of them were nonsensical – we’re still yet to get an honest answer out of her. It happened because she most likely knew the extent of her mistakes and did not want to get punished for them.

Repentance

Repentant people are those who understand and accept their faults. Aside from apologizing about their actions, they also show how sorry they feel by doing the opposite of what they have done or changing their ways entirely.

This sign of maturity is challenging to see in young adults like my sister, who got mad about her punishment instead of feeling repentant. It meant that she still could not see the problem and that she felt wronged by our parents.

Diagnosis And Therapy

A few more months passed, and my sister’s behavior did not improve, so I brought her to my psychiatrist friend. She was eventually diagnosed with an immature personality disorder. It shocked my parents but not me since the signs had been there all along.

The psychiatrist and I worked together to help my sister deal with her issues. It took over a month before we got some truths out of her, and her actions were primarily due to her inability to cope with stress and understand that all adults are supposed to be responsible for everything. After the treatment, my sister finally got to go back to college.

Therapist 101: Why You Must Accept Your Child-Rearing Mistakes

When my sister and I were growing up, It was evident who my parents’ favorite child was, not me. In all fairness, mom and dad were never mean to me. If I asked for something, they would get it in a heartbeat. Often, I only had to look at an object for more than two minutes, and they would buy it before I even asked.

I said that my little sister was the most favored member of the family because she could get away with anything. For instance, she dismantled the ship I was making out of LEGO blocks once, and no one reprimanded her for it. My mom even blamed me mildly for it because I placed it where my sister could reach it.

I also felt slight discrimination when it came to how soon we had to be home. While I had an early curfew as a teenager, my sister could stay outside until 10 PM or 11 PM. I would ask my parents why, and they would reply that it’s because my sister was at a group study session. Since I was a teenage boy, they had reservations about trusting me whenever I said the same thing.

When The Crapola Hit The Fan

One day, the police called. I remembered it vividly because I happened to pick up the telephone when I saw that mom was busy cooking. When I asked what the call’s about, the police told me that mom and dad need to go to the local station because my little sister got caught stealing a car while high as a kite.

I was shocked by what I heard; I did not hear it when my mother walked near me and asked about the caller. She had to snap her fingers a few times in front of my face before I blurted out, “Sis is at the police station.”

As I expected, mom did not believe the charges. We picked up dad from work, and they began calling their lawyers, preparing to file charges against the police who claimed that my sister was a drug addict and a car thief.

But once we came face to face with my sister inside the station, all the words seemed to have left my parents. Sis was in a cell all by herself because she was aggressive to the other people in the holding cell. The police even showed footage of her trying to run away from the scene.

When my sister saw mom and dad, though, her facial features turned soft and sweet. She begged them to help her get out because the charges were false (according to her). I noticed that my parents wanted to turn a blind eye and believe her, but the case was already out of their hands. My sister was eventually sentenced to 90 days in a juvenile prison.

Questions And Denials

My sister’s imprisonment took a massive toll on my parents, especially on my mother. She kept asking things like, “What went wrong?” “Why didn’t we see the signs?” “Didn’t we give her enough love and attention?” Dad had to take mom to a therapist because he feared that her depression would continue if left untreated.

The therapist practically encouraged my parents to see the problem during therapy: they placed my sister on a pedestal. They thought that she was perfect, that she could never be at fault. Because of that ideology, my sister kept up a sweet façade, and they believed it 100%.

“So, are you saying that we’re the reason why our child is behind bars now?” my mother demanded, wide-eyed.

“No, that’s not what I meant. Still, we have to accept as parents that we sometimes slip up during our child-rearing years. You loved your daughter too much in your case, so it became effortless for her to manipulate you and hide her real activities. If you took a step back at least once, you might have seen that something about her behavior did not add up,” the therapist explained.

Realization finally dawned on my mother. She recounted those times when my sister would come home with red eyes and say that it’s because she watched a tearful movie. There were also days when my sister would not accept money from our parents and claim that she had enough savings. They were sweet gestures, but they should have doubted her a smidge for her sake.

Final Thoughts

It’s challenging for any parent to accept their child-rearing mistakes. My mom and dad had to stay in therapy even when my sister already got out of juvenile prison since they did not trust their judgment skills when it came to her.

That was a challenging year for our family. My parents began questioning everything my sister said; my sister had to regain their trust. Despite all that, we learned from what happened and came out stronger as a unit.

What Parents Need To Know About Naturopathic Counseling

Science and medicine have gone a long way. Diseases that once plagued us and were deemed incurable are now treatable thanks to vaccines, medications, and modern equipment. Researchers are even making incredible progress towards treating relatively newer diseases like cancer.

This is great for us as parents. Advances in medicine and technology make us worry less about our children’s health and well-being. During childbirth, both the mother her new baby can remain in clean quarters. Our young can also receive vaccines against common illnesses, ensuring their health. There are also a lot of healthy foods that we can feed our children. But no matter how advanced technology and treatments can get, our children can still acquire conditions that confound us.

Fortunately, there are many alternative treatments out there. For example, if you or your child are going through anything, friends and family members are there to confide in and provide support. Counseling and support group meetings are also great, accessible options. These can help you get through difficult situations.

But have you heard of naturopathy, and did you know that counseling can also be a part of this treatment option? If you only heard of this concept now, you might wonder how it works and how it can be helpful for you.

We present you with a comprehensive guide with the fast facts on naturopathic counseling. Learning about it will help you decide whether it is a viable option for you or your kids. But before learning about naturopathic counseling, you should first know how naturopathy came to be.

Origins Of Naturopathic Medicine

While naturopathy or naturopathic medicine became popular in the 1800s, it has been around as early as the 1500s. It is believed to have come from Germany, where it is the main complementary and alternative medicine (CAM). German naturopathy consisted of these five pillars of Kneipp therapy:

Exercise
Hydrotherapy
Lifestyle management
Nutrition
Phytotherapy or botanical medicine

However, here in the US, naturopathy is just one CAM approach. Other CAM approaches include:

Acupuncture
Aromatherapy
Biofeedback
Chiropractic
Homeopathy
Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)
Yoga

Naturopathy promotes the healthy balance of the mind, body, and spirit. Achieving balance improves health and overall well-being. However, unlike conventional medicine, naturopathy relies more on natural remedies and the body’s intrinsic ability to heal.

Naturopathic doctors need to finish a 4-year graduate course in any naturopathy school accredited by the Council of Naturopathic Medical Education. They undergo licensure exams and continuing training and education. While they do diagnostic screenings the way, a conventional doctor would, the two differ in their approach to treatments.

Because of the holistic nature of naturopathy, many other professionals are also involved in this field. Nurses, physiotherapists, dietitians, and counselors all play vital roles in naturopathy.

Benefits Of Naturopathic Counseling

The most common function of naturopathic counseling is teaching and improving stress management. Having illnesses, especially chronic ones, can take a huge toll on our mental health. One study has also shown how mental health can also affect physical health and vice versa. Anxiety and poor mental health can also worsen symptoms such as:

Stomach pain
Palpitations
Muscle tension
Insomnia
Headaches
Fatigue

Another study also reported some chronic illnesses as culprits to increasing anxiety. Some diseases that increase anxiety include:

Coronary artery disease
Diabetes
Osteoarthritis
Systemic lupus
Transplantations

If you or your child suffer from any of these conditions and do not find comfort or relief from conventional treatments, you might be looking for alternatives. This is where naturopathy and counseling come in.

Having a counselor to guide you throughout your ordeal can improve your perspective about your situation. Instead of stressing over your condition and making your health worse, you can redirect your energy.

Your counselor can help you or your child find healthy coping mechanisms to get you through the flare-ups of your symptoms. They can also help you reduce your anxiety when seeking treatment.

Naturopathic counseling can also give you the support system you need. A chronic illness entails a long journey. A counselor can thus help you stay grounded. Additionally, your counselor can also refer or introduce you to a support group.

Not only is naturopathic counseling beneficial for treatment, but it’s also useful for prevention. By striving for holistic well-being, you can decrease your chances of contracting other illnesses in the future. You are also given tools to manage stress better.

Roles Of Naturopathic Counseling As Part Of A Whole

Naturopathic counseling provides more life-changing results as part of a bigger treatment plan. It works best with other relevant changes, such as:

Dietary changes
Detoxification
Exercise and manipulative therapies
Herbs and other natural supplements
Lifestyle changes

One way counseling helps tie these together is by educating patients. If your child is receiving the treatment, they may have trouble adjusting to the taste of herbal supplements. A counselor can tell them why they need to take this medicine and how it will help them. Your counselor can be both a supporter and educator for your family. Counseling then becomes not only an added component but also a way to provide assurance.

The next benefit of naturopathic counseling is maintaining accountability. You or your child might need to follow strict diet plans or lifestyle transitions but have trouble sticking to it. Let’s face it: change is hard, no matter how big or small. A counselor can hold you accountable for any lapses and remind you what you need to do. They can help you transition slowly but surely. It’s better to take things slow as long as you stay consistent.

Final Thoughts

Counseling is already beneficial on its own. It can help you find healthy coping mechanisms, support, and a fresh perspective of your situation.

But counseling can do more when paired with naturopathic medicine. Naturopathic counseling can make you more accepting of alternative therapies. Additionally, it can help guide you and hold you accountable when following your new treatment plan.

Illnesses, especially chronic ones, are difficult to deal with. Sometimes, conventional treatments won’t even work so well. But, with counseling and alternative treatments, you can certainly improve your overall well-being. Be aware of these benefits and choose a counselor who’s also well-versed in naturopathy to help you get through your ordeal.

Natural Counseling For Parents

At present, there are many kinds of medicines we can take to treat various ailments. However, pharmaceutical interventions don’t work for everybody. The same goes for traditional medicine. Thus, it pays to know about and be prepared to explore alternatives. Parents especially need to be mindful about their options, both for themselves and their children. In their case, they might need alternative treatments to supplement whatever medicines they are already taking.

But when dealing with the topic of alternative medicine, it is not enough to Google about what you should and shouldn’t ingest. It is always best to consult with an expert, and who better to consult than a natural counselor? They have extensive knowledge of what alternative treatments are available. They can make recommendations depending on your symptoms. Because of their expertise, it is also good to have them be the ones to introduce the field to your children.

You might still feel a little unsure whether or not alternative treatments and natural counseling are worth a shot for you and your family. We understand your concern. Precisely because of this, we prepared this short article to introduce natural counseling to you. Read on to learn more about what natural counseling is and how it can help you and your family.

Natural Counseling

Natural counseling is a medical system that leans on the usage of natural remedies to heal the body. Sometimes, natural counselors recommend alternative medicines, like herbs. Other times, they suggest massages, acupuncture, or exercise. Your counselor may also advise you to make dietary changes. What we eat affects our physical and mental health, after all.

Since your children depend on you, it’s natural that you want to know how to take care of yourself and prevent getting any illnesses. Natural counselors can give you self-care tips so you can look after yourself and be able to take care of your kids. Their guidance will help you create a healthy environment for you and your family.

With an overview of what natural counselors can do for you, it’s clear that they push for a holistic approach to wellness. The treatments they give are to cure the physical part of the body and the soul, spirit, and mind.

Natural counselors need to have a license just like any medical professional. They may hold different kinds as not all states have the same licensing requirements. In any case, you will find that there are only three main types of natural counselors despite their differing licenses. They are:

Naturopathic doctor: This kind of counselor is a licensed doctor that underwent four years in a naturopathic medical school
Traditional naturopath: These counselors do not hold a license, but some people still seek them
Healthcare providers: Other medical doctors, such as dentists, nurses, chiropractors who use naturopathic medicine

These natural counselors may offer treatments differing in methods, but they all follow the same process.

Process Of Natural Counseling

Natural counselors aim to cure your symptoms as well as find and heal the root of your illness. You will first be examined for one to two hours. The counselors will ask about your health history, stress levels, and lifestyle habits. They will also do physical assessments.

Your counselor might look into your iris, tongue, and nails to get a better picture of your health. This procedure is known as iridology. They might also ask for your laboratory tests and any medical imaging or examinations that you had beforehand. Results from these tests can help them understand where your health problems are stemming from.

As the assessment ends, the counselors will then have to discuss the health plan with you. The usual recommendation is a combination of exercise, diet, and other tips for staying healthy. You will want to follow through with this to model for your kids. It is essential to set a good example for your children to grow up mindful of their health.

They may also suggest complementary medicine. These medicines are more alternative rather than mainstream. You won’t usually receive complementary medicine from medical doctors or other professionals. Some examples are:

Acupuncture
Chiropractic Medicine
Energy therapies
Herbal medicine
Ayurvedic Medicine

Lastly, natural counselors might recommend massages or basic touches to balance your body. One of the well-known massage therapies is Naturopathic Manipulative Therapy (NMT). It involves applied kinesiology, spinal manipulation, massage, and physical therapy. The treatment gives you a physical release that can improve your metabolic function and restore postural balance. In addition, NMT has positive effects on the muscular, nervous and circulatory systems.

Conditions Treated By Natural Counseling

While not always the first go-to choice for treatments, natural counseling and the use of natural products has been proven effective for the following conditions:

Anxiety
Stress
Musculoskeletal pain
Type 2 diabetes
Depression
Cardiovascular disease
Polycystic ovary syndrome
Allergies
Asthma

You might think that it is not real medicine and is not helpful. However, studies show the effectiveness of natural counseling treatments. In 2000, a study shared that hypericum extracts were more successful in helping patients than a placebo. The study also mentioned another research that explained how ginkgo Biloba was incredibly helpful for patients with dementia.

Furthermore, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), extensive studies have proven acupuncture effective in treating various ailments. They found that it helps treat back and neck pain, osteoarthritis, and headaches, amongst many others. The NIH considers acupuncture to be generally safe as well, as long as performed by a well-trained practitioner.

The different ways of natural treatments effectively heal the body, mind, and soul while also being completely natural. As a parent, you should take these pieces of evidence as an indicator that natural counseling is good for your family. It relies on nature to get you, your partner, and your kids into the best health.

Conclusion

You might prefer traditional medicine for your children because it is reliable. However, both natural counseling and traditional medicine carry risks. You may try both of them to see which one suits your family’s needs better. Remember, it is always best to consult with a health professional when planning for your family’s health.

Frequently Asked Questions About Stress And Anxiety In Parenting

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First-time dads and moms are often expected to have some tense and anxious emotions about having a new baby. They’re usually worried about whether or not the baby gets enough to eat, if he’s sleeping too little or too much, or why he’s crying too hard – or not crying enough! Name it! New parents can be anxious over the smallest things.

Luckily, this parenting anxiety does disappear, or at least subsides in time, and as parents gather more experience with their babies, particularly when they have a few more children to deal with.

Causes Of Parenting Stress And Anxiety

Several parents continue to be stressed and anxious about issues and things, though, like in cases when their kid:

Is spending a lot of time away from home
Has developed friendships
She is on time with her developmental milestones.
He is over-exposed to many chemicals in his surroundings, such as mercury, second-hand smoke, or BPA, among others.
Gets average grades in school
He consumes a lot of junk food and is obese.
Is suffering from bullying in school

And with the information that they read and gather from the Internet, parents can feel more anxious about the choice to get their children vaccinated and kept safe against various diseases.

Surely, parents’ big or small problem can become a reason for them to have anxiety – from a toddler who begins waking up several times in the wee hours of the night to a preschooler who starts to develop tantrums. While these are regular parenting issues that a lot of us are confronted with at one point or another, the stress and anxiety typically emerge when a parent starts to sense that the problem they’re encountering doesn’t have a solution.

When parents think like this, it won’t be hard to see how they can be stressed out and worried, specifically if they believe that they won’t get enough sleep ever again or that their kid is on her way to kindergarten still hasn’t been potty trained. Temper tantrums, picky eating, bedwetting are other parenting concerns that frequently result in parenting stress and anxiety.

Aside from the usual parenting issues, money is also a significant cause of anxiety. Parents worry if they have enough to send their children to a good school for some time. Now, more parents have concerns about preventing foreclosures of their homes or keeping themselves from getting fired. Apprehensions regarding the economy and about money also cause parents to be concerned about their children’s future. Will there be available jobs, and will the economy be ready for their kids when they finish college? Will their kids be capable of raising their own children when the time comes?

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Below are frequently asked questions and their corresponding answers regarding stress and anxiety.

What are the first signs of anxiety?

The initial indications of anxiety include restlessness or nervousness, increased heart rate, trembling, sweating, a sense of imminent danger, hyperventilation, sleep difficulties, gastrointestinal problems, and weakness. Consequently, this increases.

Can anxiety cause you to feel symptoms?

Panic attacks and longstanding anxiety releases stress hormones from the brain consistently. Consequently, this increases the incidence of symptoms like dizziness, headaches, and depression.

What is the most common symptom of stress?

Some of the most common physical symptoms of stress include sweating, muscular tension, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, arrhythmias, headaches, and dry mouth.

What are 5 emotional signs of stress?

The top five emotional indications of stress include anxiety, irritability, isolation, a sense of overwhelm, and depression.

What are the 3 causes of stress?

The top three most common causes of stress are money, poor health, and work issues.

What does stress feel like in the body?

When you are tense, and your body senses a threat, the brain takes action by releasing lots of stress hormones, which include cortisol and adrenaline, stimulating your body for sudden or emergency situations. Your heart beats faster, blood pressure increases, muscles tense, your senses become stronger, and your breathing accelerates.

How can I stop stressing?

Simple steps that you can take to help you deal with stress include engaging in physical activity, avoiding alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine, getting sufficient sleep, managing your time wisely, and talking to someone if you think you can’t deal with the stress by yourself.

Can stress make you physically sick?

Anxiety caused by stress may increase blood flow, which may subsequently make you warm and dizzy. These indications could sometimes mislead you to think that you have flu. Eventually, the stress can debilitate the immune system, and you could become weak and sick. Viruses can easily attack your body. Other physical indications that stress can present with include headaches, constipation, and diarrhea.

What happens if anxiety is left untreated?

The anxiety that is left unmanaged could lead to severely negative outcomes that can affect your whole life. You may not have the desire to go to school, work, or maintain your social relationships. Additionally, when anxiety and panic attacks are untreated over time, they can also cause less urgent but equally threatening physical problems.

Does ignoring anxiety make it go away?

Ignoring your anxiety never makes it go away – the unpleasant thoughts and nervousness will persist. Although some people believe that anxiety becomes real unless you entertain it, the idea to ignore it is potentially detrimental, as it may cause others to self-medicate and turn to other equally unhealthy behaviors.

What help is available for anxiety?

There are specific medications that are available for treating anxiety upon a doctor’s recommendation and prescription. Other treatments that could help manage anxiety include behavioral therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy.

What can anxiety do to your body?

Anxiety can activate your body’s flight or fight reaction, causing the release of hormones, such as adrenaline and other chemicals into your body. This activation accelerates your breathing and your pulse for the brain to acquire more oxygen. The process also allows a person to react appropriately to an extreme situation.

How long can anxieties last?

Generally, anxiety attacks peak within ten minutes and seldom lasts thirty minutes. However, during this short period, the person may feel fear so extreme that he feels as if he is losing control or, worse, he will die. Some people, though, experience anxiety for a few minutes to a few days. Still, for others, their anxiety is more than just worrying about a stressful day at home or work and may not even disappear for months or years.

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Bottom Line

A crucial thing to always remember is that there is no quick way towards parenting success. You could have the brightest, most popular child in his school, or perhaps the best athlete, but it does not imply that he will grow up to be more successful than the rest, encounter fewer obstacles in life, or even be happier others. The most we can do is to raise our children in a way that makes them feel loved, give them healthy food, and help them develop self-worth and confidence to face life’s challenges.

Mental-Health-Crushing Scenarios That Your Kids Shouldn’t Experience

My parents have always told my sisters and I that we were fortunate to have them as our mother and father, not their parents. Dad would say, “If I ever came home past the curfew — even if I were only two minutes late — I would get spanked.” Mom would add, “Girls are not lucky either. In case we toed the line, Ma would be there to pinch our side or tell us to be prim and proper.”

Of course, their stories were challenging to believe because my grandparents never exuded scary vibes around their grandkids. They often played with us or gave us money to buy whatever we wanted. And if Mom or Dad was starting to look pissed, they were always there to keep us from getting yelled at. I thought, “Hmm, Granny and Pops might have been frightening back then, but they have mellowed down now.”

Still, as I gained more years, I realized that many parents acted like they were living in the past. Meaning, they continued to use harsh forms of punishment to ensure that the children won’t forget the consequences of their actions. They did not even bother to put themselves in the kids’ shoes and see how the punishments could ruin the youngsters’ mental health.

For reference purposes, allow me to share scenarios that your kids should never experience.

Scenario #1: Shaming

Shaming occurs when a child messes up, and you criticize them because of it in public places or during social gatherings.

For instance, Sam had been playing with his cousins in the backyard while raining. You told him not to do it because he might slip and fall, but he did it anyway. So, when you turned out to be correct, you didn’t bother asking if he was okay. Instead, you said, “See, you made a fool out of yourself in front of everyone since you didn’t listen to me. Clean yourself now; you’re embarrassing me.”

The more humiliation you put a kid through, the more their heart might harden, to the extent that they would stop caring about you.

Scenario #2: Physical Abuse

Some people believe that there is nothing wrong with giving children a spanking once in a while, especially if they have committed grave mistakes. However, there is a fine line that separates reasonable corporal punishment and physical abuse that parents should never cross.

Say, Andie was known to be a town prankster from a young age. Her peers found her cool and funny, but the adults were always complaining about her. When Andie’s mother heard that she egged the neighbor’s car, she spanked her one time, hoping it would Andie from misbehaving. But when she got caught spray-painting others’ gates with profanities, the mother couldn’t help but see red. She dragged Andie to the house and started slapping and smacking the child, not caring where her hands landed.

No matter how upsetting your offspring’s behavior is, you should never resort to physical violence to discipline them. That never works, I’m telling you now.

Scenario #3: Not Feeding Or Locking Up

How many horror movies have you seen where angry ghosts of children came out of the closet? The typical backstory is that their crazy parents locked them up without food or water for days. Even if they cry or yell or push against the doors, it won’t budge. It could get to a point where the child would eventually die and start haunting the closet and the entire house where it’s located.

Well, although real-life parents might argue that they would never starve or lock up a child for days, simply not feeding them a meal or not letting them out of their room for hours at a time could crush their mental health. It would become apparent that you didn’t mind seeing them hungry and helpless, and they might be emotionally distant sooner than later.

Scenario #4: Kicking Out Of The House

We once had a neighbor whose idea of disciplining their kid was making the boy sit on the steps of the front porch for at least two hours. The first few times I witnessed it, I saw the boy crying and begging his parents to let him in the house. However, as it became a go-to method of his mom and dad, the child eventually stopped caring about getting kicked out of the house, and his behavior worsened.

That’s another possible result of punishing kids unfairly. The more you do it, the more they realize how mean you are. Since they can’t talk back, they take revenge by acting up. If the parents used other disciplinary tactics, things would have been different.

Bottom Line

If you are still thinking of how to discipline your kids, you need to consider how it could affect their mental health. You cannot dish out whatever form of punishment you think of and expect the child to come out fine in the end.

Avoid all the scenarios mentioned above to be able to raise a happy, mentally stable kid. Good luck!

Embracing A New Baby In The Family

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When you welcome a new baby to the family, it takes effort and loads of preparation. It can be tiring and challenging at times, particularly if the baby is embraced by its sisters and brothers, too.

Welcome, Baby!

Below is a list of things that you can do to prepare yourself to embrace your new baby into the family.

Organize The Nursery

Nothing is too early (or late) when decorating the new baby’s nursery, especially your first baby. If you’ve done the big reveal and know the baby’s gender, you can now choose what colors to use. If it’s a girl, pink will most probably the color of choice, or perhaps a combination of pastels like mint greens, light blue, and yellow. Also, a well-ventilated room is preferable, so if it’s located at the far end of the house, make sure you install windows so fresh air can freely come in and out of the baby’s room.

There’s no limit to what you can buy for and decorate in your nursery, but make it a point that all the basics are there. These are the following:

A comfortable crib with the correct height and width so that you can easily reach for the baby.
An area assigned for changing the diapers.
A relaxing chair for you when you nurse and take care of your baby.
A roomy closet for you to keep your baby’s diapers, clothes, and other items.

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Prepare Your Baby’s Sleeping Space

When prepping for a baby’s sleeping space, you can opt between a bassinet, a cradle, or a crib. It may be months until the baby begins to make significant movements like rolling over; it should be settled in a comfy crib.

Additionally, you must be cautious when you’re buying a crib. Ensure that it meets the necessary safety and security regulations. If you opt to place the crib in your room first until the baby reaches a year, it is recommended that you consider the space that the crib will occupy in your room. In this case, a cradle might be more useful for the baby, particularly if it has a hard time sleeping, as the rocking movement of the cradle will soothe the baby and put it to sleep.

Food Options

Formula or breast milk is the food choice for babies up to six months of age. During these months, moms may want to get breast pads that avoid leakage so they won’t spoil their clothes. Additionally, it would be more convenient for them to use a breast pump and packaged bottles for infants to handle the baby’s milk when the family goes outdoors.

A wise suggestion is not to store too much formula before the baby comes out. You’ll be wasting a lot of money if in case the baby is lactose-intolerant or allergic to cow’s milk! Just as soon as you’ll know your baby can manage with formula without any problems, then you can buy in bulk.

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Stock Up On Diapers

As opposed to formulas, it’s always okay to start buying diapers even before the baby is born. This is among the first things it will be using when it gets home, that’s for sure! Purchasing diapers in bulk will not only save you money, but it will save you the discomfort of running to the supermarket in the middle of the night.

Additionally, you can stock on these too:

Baby powder
Baby wipes
Diaper creams

Cloth diapers are an excellent substitute for disposable diapers because they’re soft, safe, and washable. Although it’s more expensive, you’ll end up saving in the long run. You need to monitor the diaper’s wetness and make sure to use a mild detergent to prevent the baby from getting rashes or skin allergies.

Let The Siblings Participate

Undoubtedly, most, if not all, children want attention, and for some, it can be tough to deal with a new baby that will get everyone’s attention. They would often feel that all the love and affection are already showered to their baby sister or brother, and they’ll send up being angry, insecure, or resentful.

To avoid this, start by involving your children in your preparations for welcoming the baby. Talk to them about how they can be part of taking care of their new sister or brother. You should also make sure that you show them sufficient attention and love by taking them out for ice cream or as simple as being with them and having loving conversations with them. When the baby comes, you can do your bedtime reading at the nursery so the other siblings can feel that the baby is part of the family. And then they can say goodnight to the baby before they head off to bed.

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Childproof Your Home

Yes, it will be some time before your little boy or girl will start walking or even crawling, but it’s always better to baby-proof the home earlier rather than later. Pay close attention to electrical outputs, dangerous edges of chairs and tables, and open doors.

To embrace a new baby into the family should be significant and momentous for everyone. By following these simple tips, you might be able to prepare for the baby’s coming successfully – filled with love, excitement, and affection from everyone.

Therapists Approve: Ideal Ways To Parent Kids In This Modern World

When different sets of parents get together, they cannot help but talk about child-related stuff often. Some may boast regarding the competitions that their kid has won, while the others speak of the increasing number of skills that the children garner. Of course, they may also discuss the little ones’ antics, which can make them want to either yank out their hair in frustration or deliver another baby into the world.

Something that all parents don’t mind affirming, however, is the truth that kids these days are highly dissimilar to the youngsters back then. If a child couldn’t reason out with their folks when getting scolded in the past, the modern kiddo may not keep his or her mouth shut until you listen. Their idea of fun is diverse as well, considering children born at the computer age would rather stay indoors than outdoors.

At this point, you should recognize that the parenting skills that your conventional mom and dad passed down may not always work. Specifically, when you’re raising a smart baby, he or she will undoubtedly find a loophole in your rules and turn your words against you. Then, there may purely be mayhem at home.

What may alter that possible occurrence in the future, nonetheless, is heeding the advice of therapists (try BetterHelp) and improving the way you parent your kids.

Get To Know Your Offspring’s Personality

The initial step to becoming a good mother or father to a generation X member is to realize that their character won’t remain the same forever. In case he or she used to be meek, for instance, going to school may have allowed them to either bully other children instantly. Consequently, a rambunctious kid might turn gentle once he or she begins to discern right from wrong. Jonathan Pochyly, PhD, pediatric psychologist discusses a child’s personality. “Many are predisposed to, say, being shy. But that doesn’t mean you can’t help guide and influence your child’s behavior.”

When you know how much your kid’s personality has changed over time, though, you’ll have a clearer vision of how to discipline him or her.

Prepare An Explanation For Every Order You Serve

If you are rearing a strong-headed boy or girl, you can expect that youngster to question your guidelines. Instead of following the orders blindly, they may ask why they need to do this or that. Worse, the interrogation may not stop even when you tell them deliberately not to talk back.

The thing is, not all children behave like that to annoy you. Many are merely curious about the logic behind your words. And as soon as you offer them an explanation, they might never bug you again regarding that topic. “Intelligence reflects the general ability to process information, which promotes learning, understanding, reasoning, [and] problem-solving,” says Linda S. Gottfredson, PhD, a professor of education at the University of Delaware in Newark. Thus, be sure to have sound reasoning ready before serving any house rule.

Respect Their Views

It is impressive – and almost frightening – how mature kids can be from early childhood. There are activities that they prefer to do on their own, such as eating and bathing. Some may also try to exhibit their fashion sense at an early age; that’s why you cannot dress them however you please. Laurence Steinberg, PhD, explains how you treat your child will affect his relationship with others. “You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. ”

Although it’s important to teach children that it’s impossible to always gain everything they ask for, you have to respect their views as well. Your baby wants to become independent – that’s what’s happening. For sure, it will take years before they can master the said tasks, but it won’t hurt to let them get away with their requests occasionally. If you keep on discouraging him or her, time may come that he or she will no longer try and stay reliant on you for eternity.

The growth of a child occurs as fast as the world changes its color. Sometimes the difference may be unnoticeable. Other times, you can only wish that the process will slow down so that your baby can stay as such longer. Nevertheless, the key to being the best parents your kids can ever have is broadening your minds and applying the parenting tips above.

Good luck!