Dealing with anxious toddlers is difficult because toddlers are ten times worse than ordinary babies who have tantrums. They have anxiety issues in potty training, eating, listening, and obeying. Toddlers easily meltdown all the time, and that’s because they are so emotional. They don’t know how to control their feelings.

According to Erin Leyba, LCSW, PhD, “Some kids experience anxiety more than others. About 15-20% of kids are born with a more anxious temperament (the amygdala part of their brains are more reactive to novel stimuli from the start).”

As a parent, you will want to do everything to help your child. However, Clark Goldstein, PhD points out, “When children are chronically anxious, even the most well-meaning parents can fall into a negative cycle and, not wanting a child to suffer, actually exacerbate the youngster’s anxiety. It happens when parents, anticipating a child’s fears, try to protect her from them.”

So how do you parent an anxious toddler? Let’s talk about the tips I’m going to share. Here are some broad strokes that are important for you to remember when it comes to parenting.

Teach Them To Express Their Feelings 

Toddlers can’t express feelings just like that. Even if you think you know your kid, you don’t. Also, although they have a fantastic vocabulary and can directly tell people what’s on their mind, it doesn’t mean they can already figure out their anxious emotions. As a parent, you can teach them how to express their feelings so they won’t get used to melting down.

Encourage Them To Fight Fears

Letting your toddlers handle stressful situations is good. However, it doesn’t mean you have to throw them into things and expect them to do it when you tell them to. That way, instead of helping kids achieve stable mental and emotional states, you’re only adding pressure and stress. Alternatively, let them discover the things that scare them, provided that you’re going to guide them along the way. You have to be there with them and show them how it’s supposed to get done.

“All too often we teach kids to take deep breaths and to get their “minds off their worries” instead of teaching them how to defeat those thoughts,” explained Natasha Daniels, LCSW. “Distraction only go so far. Parents need to get to the root of the worry and pull out that weed.”

Let Them Explore Their Feelings

It’s usual for some parents to become over-accommodating, but it doesn’t help at all. It only enables toddlers’ anxiety throughout their behavioral, emotional, and mental development. When you don’t allow them to experience agitation, anger, and pain, they will have a difficult time differentiating it from other emotions. Don’t stop them from learning just because you are too afraid that they might get hurt. They need to understand that sooner or later, they will eventually experience the challenges in life.

Acknowledge Their Emotions

When you tell toddlers to get up there and stand on their own, you’re not doing the right thing. You might think that it’s helpful in teaching your child independence, but it’s not. It will only make them feel pushed and feel betrayed. In fact, when you ask toddlers the things that scare them, what gets them mad, and what makes them sad, they won’t be able to answer it in detail. They will have problems connecting their experiences with those questions. As a parent, you need to acknowledge their emotions and know their capabilities as well.

With sensitive and anxious toddlers, the emotions are uncontrollable. The sooner they can tell you that they feel scared, sad, and angry, the more significant changes you can figure out what to do. These tips are not exactly mind-blowing, but all of these are important in handling your baby properly. Do not risk your child’s overall health. Show them the importance of getting out from their comfort zone, and be there to assist them with their needs.

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As a mom, I also have issues with my child for being so stubborn. He always makes himself free of any consequences because he knows I can entirely lose control over his unhappy reactions. I admit, I often fall in his trap because I have so much faith in him that he will change for the better. However, a kid will always be a kid. Somehow it makes me think, is he really under four years old because he seems to know what exactly he wants. He is an expert in manipulation because there is no way he can end up paying for his misbehaviors.

But as soon as I try and observe the ways of my kid, I begin to understand things. Positive parenting is not always about following a perfect disciplinary plan and action. Sometimes, as parents, all we need is a considerable amount of compassion and empathy for our little ones. With that mentality, I can say I now have a better version of my kid. So how did I do it? Here’s how.

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Tips And Guidelines

• I was not able to notice that too many activities made my kid feel exhausted all the time. I was not aware that it is the number one reason for his stubbornness. After knowing that, I created a routine that helped in lifting his physical, emotional, and mental strength. I incorporated lots of sleep and regular meal time on his schedules. I made sure he exercise and play outside, as well. Soon after the changes, I noticed my kid’s positive behavior towards different tasks. He now has focus and motivation. He now listens to opinions and is open to suggestions. “It increases their sense of security because they know what’s coming next,” says Jean M. Thomas, M.D., clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at The George Washington University School of Medicine and Health Sciences, in Washington, D.C. “The more secure toddlers feel, the more they can focus on things like learning, exploring, and playing.”
• Engaging in an argument with a kid is one of the most distressing things that can happen in a household. That is because children know they are kids; there is the persistence of getting what they want. In the case of my kid, I gave him what he wants. However, I made sure always to provide two choices. This type of strategy made my child think about his demands thoroughly. He became more focused on thinking about positive consequences instead of the negative ones. Choosing between two options made him realized to decide between two things only. That is to have something, and not to have anything at all. “It is a good idea for parents to change their behavior first and not wait until the child does what the parent wants.” Kyle D. Pruett M.D. wrote.
• After I realized that I was not able to provide quality time with my child, I began to change terms with my priorities. I engaged in a meaningful conversation with my kid and made sure there is a warm connection between us. I made sure that his concerns are well-answered and that his demands are well-acknowledge. I made sure that his good deeds are appreciated. “Kids tend to open up a little bit more when there’s not a direct eye contact,” says Megan A. Mooney, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and president elect at the Texas Psychological Association in Cedar Park, Texas. Soon after that, my kid began to love working with other people. He showed compassion toward other people’s incapability to do things. He became helpful and considerate of other’s needs.

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Sometimes, we parents do not often see that our child’s stubbornness is not at all inborn. Usually, it is our fault that our kid turns out like that. So before we judge our child’s actions and behavior towards the things around him, let us evaluate how we are as moms.

Yearning to have an amicable and trusting connection with your doctor, financial adviser, or your lawyer as they guide you through crucial, challenging life situations is similar to the principle that applies to your kid’s college counselor.

College counselors are responsible for guiding you, and your high schooler through the rough college admission process, which is why not behaving badly and instead creating a positive and robust relationship with your child’s college counselor is essential.

By following these recommendations, complexities of forming a beneficial relationship can become much less gruesome.

Treat The Counselor As A Qualified Professional

College applications are brimming with arcane requirements and regulations that counselors exert time studying and imparting every detail to their students, which is why the counselor position exists.

Current information regarding financial assistance, application procedure, financial aid, and whatever’s in-between is also beneficial. Aside from carrying out school documents, the counselor is also partly responsible for drafting the institution’s overall assessment of every student. There are a lot of obligations that need to be fulfilled by the counselor even after being constantly reminded. Exhibiting admissive or domineering attitude towards your child’s counselor only depreciates your interactions.

“There is a tremendous lack of services in colleges and universities: On college campuses, the ratio of certified counselors to students overall is about 1:1000 – 2000 for small to moderate size schools, and 1:2000 – 3500 for large universities.” Eugene Beresin M.D., M.A. wrote.

College Counselors Are Friends, Not Foes

Both you and the counselor want what’s best for your child’s school welfare; both of you hope that the eventuality of searching for colleges would turn out successful. There will be moments when the counselor has to divulge painful news like the small likelihood of not being admitted to the college of choice or the reality that your child’s selection of courses may invalidate him or her from specific tiers of universities. Treat that honesty rendered by the counselor as information and not as a form of judgment, then proceed from there. “It’s tempting to be a helicopter parent, but this isn’t the healthiest approach.” Mike Brooks Ph.D. says He adds, “Parenting is a balancing act. There is not a playbook that can tell us exactly what to do on every step of the parenting journey. We want our kids to grow up to be successful and happy. ”

Get To Know Your Child’s Counselor

Make an appointment immediately by directly introducing yourself and casually talking to him or her. This type of meeting can be with or without your child’s presence; it’s ultimately a way to get to know each other without having any urgent dilemmas to deal with. On the other hand, if you or your child have preliminary concerns or special circumstances that must be dealt with, mentioning them during casual visits can be done. Having your initiative to kickstart the process and keep the relationship leveled will alleviate any tension and form a professional bond between you and the counselor. Don’t wait until a crisis is at hand to reach out and talk with the counselor.

Respect And Appreciate The Counselor’s Attention And Time

Schools have dedicated enough resources to have counselors that are mainly focused on diligently working to keep track of student caseloads which range up to hundreds. These counselors are mostly welcoming in answering inquiries via email and phone calls during working hours; therefore, make the most of this hour to get in touch with them. Marty Nemko Ph.D. explains its importance, “The counselor efficiently helps the client with the relevant issues. In the case of a career counselor or coach, it might include choosing a career, identifying strengths and weaknesses to mention in applying for jobs, negotiating compensation, or helping them succeed on the job.”

That said, you have to be aware that college applications are not life-threatening emergencies that require midnight calls especially at their homes. As much as possible, set aside your essential queries in the morning and thwart the urge to call your child’s counselors after work and especially during the weekends. Also, if you sent an email in the evening, don’t expect that you will receive an immediate response no matter how urgent your concerns are. Don’t worry. Counselors usually respond the following day.

Building a pleasant relationship with your teen’s college counselor requires sufficient amount of time, but once you have strengthened those ties, you’ll be grateful to have someone who is knowledgeable and supporting until success on both sides is met.